Hit the Trail

Life seems to be a system of twisting and turning trails. Some seem to climb very rapidly and others descend with a great abrupt decline. I am amazed how one week the path I am on is so smooth with stunning views all around, only to change to rock strewn hard pack. To top it off it seems as though I am bare foot.

I set out years back to lose some weight. I began to educate myself on nutrition. I tried to be mindful of what was in the food I was eating. I soon developed the realization that for me, things in life were all or nothing. Later I began to exercises, and found a passion for mountain biking, hiking and later running and lifting weights. It was difficult for me to begin as I was so out of shape. Riding my bike up a hill one time I stopped with that familiar “I am going to die” feeling. It gave me anxiety, it made me depressed but it also fueled an incredible anger that I had allowed myself to be so unhealthy. That in turn spurred a yearlong addiction to everything fitness. Even to the point of being the kitchen Nazi. Again, my all or nothing personality raised its head. I have made jokes in the past about balance. Its it really possible? Is it possible to raise three children, work like you don’t need the money and keep your marriage vibrant while trying to remain healthy and fit? Or is balance more like a pendulum, its swings both ways. I am still trying to figure this one out. I have discovered that being to legalistic toward anything is a recipe for failure. Having said that, if I go all out, what will suffer as a consequence?

As we try to live selflessly it seems as though there has to be a moment for one’s self to indulge in their passions. If we don’t we will shake the champagne bottle until the cork blows off. We certainly do not want that. It is a struggle to resolve to the fact that I have to spend time with myself and God doing the things that make me smile, sharpening my axe so to speak. I can think of nothing better then to put on those shoes, tie the laces and take a deep breath as I step out on a new trail. Just a moment with myself, God and nature. Now where did I put my car keys?